I could not finish a sentence then without her screaming no! She was not having any of it and I could understand why. The idea of sending an 8-year-old to boarding school isn’t appealing. I was struggling with it too and I wished then, that it never had to happen. But having explored the many other options available. Having gotten great feedback from parents who like me had had to make this tough decision.
I had come to a conclusion that I was giving her the best foundation for her future. It was a great idea even if it didn’t feel like it at the time. And I would be doing us both good by starting sooner than later preparing for the change ahead. So, I worked hard, repeatedly proposed the idea to her and a year down the line, my hard work has paid off.
Now with a few months left to this big change, she has not only warmed up to the idea. But she seems to be totally sold out on it. It’s all she talks about, she is excited and looking forward to the new life, or at least that’s how I see it from my side. She seems to be readier than I am. And while nothing could make me happier than to see her embracing change, it seems like the tables have turned.
Am more anxious, a bit sad and I keep second guessing myself. I keep wondering if there could be another option I might have missed. I guess the anxiety of letting go is getting to me. My baby is about to really grow up and I wonder if I’ll ever be ready when I have to say goodbye in a few months.
My progress so far is that we decided to start shopping this week. After a long discussion that by taking this step we would be sealing the deal and there is no backing out. And to say it’s been a good the experience is an understatement. I’ve come across lots of people who have been really helpful, encouraging and understanding.
I’ve met other mums who are either in the same place as Iam or have been there before. And listening to their experiences and advice as we venture into these new phase of our lives; I now realize that my experience is not unique. Am told she will be okay more than I will be. And that in itself is reassuring and enough.
As the days go by and the big day draws closer. What I realize is that when I’ve done all I need to do. The best thing would be to not obsess, not imagine but instead have faith that everything will work out for the best. ” Children are like kites…You spend a lifetime trying to get them off the ground. You run with them until you are both breathless. They crash. They hit the rooftop. You patch and comfort, adjust and teach. You watch them lifted by the wind and assure them someday they’ll fly.
Finally, they are airborne. They need more string and you keep letting it out. But with each twist of the ball of twine, there is sadness that goes with joy. The kite becomes distant and you know it won’t be long before that beautiful creature will snap the lifeline that binds you two together and will soar, as it is meant to soar, free and alone. Only then do you know you did your job.” Erma Bombeck