Are You Building Or Destroying?

hammer-sledgehammer-mallet-tool“Be an encourager, the world has of plenty critics already” 

As I walked by I noticed how she was shouting at the top of her voice to this young boy. He seemed really scared and had tears streaming down his cheeks. I didn’t wait to hear the whole story of what had happened.  But what I knew when I walked away was that; he was ten years old, that was his mother shouting and this was a normal occurrence between them.  


Even though I had witnessed different situations like this in the past, I had never really thought much about it until then. Shouting has always been the gentle and kind way of admonishing kids when they have done something wrong around here. Worse things happen to many others kids. Some of which we never get to know about. And some very few serious cases are brought to our attention through media or social platforms. 


That occurrence reminded me of how we grew up. While we didn’t get shouted at when we misbehaved. But when we did something wrong, we’d be obsessing on where to hide when our parents got home. Because there would not be timeout, or a long talk to discuss our bad behavior. No! there would be a rain of beatings, not gentle soft ones but hard and painful ones. That would leave us with marks to remember for a very long time. 


And by mentioning this I do not mean to say that my parents were bad parents, this was just how parents corrected their kids then. However, as years have gone by, its only on occasion that you’ll see a parent smack a child. Lately parents either threaten to spank kids, take away their toys or keep them from watching their favorite TV shows. 


The point am trying to get to is that. Watching the episode between the mother and son, remembering my punishment as a kid. It all made me think of how we are very quick to punish or criticize negatively whenever someone acts badly. Without really thinking of how effective our actions will be after or think of what our intentions really are.  


We forget to see the person in front of us and instead see their negative act. We don’t realize that continuous negative criticism destroys seeds of positive behavior that might have otherwise grown in any individual. Kids become rebellious, grown-ups act negatively. We reap what we sow. Our approach or response towards negative behavior determines the outcome. 


There is such a difference when you realize that sometimes people are not their behaviors. When you choose to correct a child positively instead of reacting and going all negative. Think about it, what good comes out of attacking, blaming, negative criticism and reactive behavior. What good would come out of taking time to think through things? Choose to point things out gently like you see them, mention the positive aspects?  


What would change when you have a positive end goal in mind? What would change if you thought about building people instead of destroying them in every encounter?  There is so much power in our words and actions. But it’s up to us to think of what our intentions are every time before we administer any feedback or act. Whether it’s to our kids or other people that we cross paths with every day. 


“Be the type of person that no matter where you go or where you are; you always add value to the lives of those around you.” 

Be inspired to live your best life every day. 


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